Bike DorkNow I’m no fashionista when it comes to bikes. Sure I like a good color, good parts, and a good finish and occassionally spend a little bit more to ensure it, but I don’t run around in team kit demanding that everyone ride a certain bike a certain way. I’m DEFINATELY not the Style Man. For cycling, you don’t have to wear special clothes, but if you want to, that’s OK. If all of your clothes come from the 80s, that’s fine. If your bike has one of those speckled paint jobs, no problem. I don’t think recumbents are silly or dorky looking. Trikes are cool. We know small wheels aren’t a bad thing. Old school, new school, drop bars or cruiser bars, as long as it’s got wheels and a way to propel them by human power, I’m good with it.

But, like all things, there comes a point when you go a little bit too far. I mean, I liked Björk’s swan dress, but I understand why people don’t. However, there are some things that even within a strict thematic context don’t make sense. In fact, even though I tend to lean a bit towards pragmatism there are even some things that while practical, are just simply horrible. For me, the ultimate example of these are sweat pants. Sure, they’re comfy. But in a world of all sorts of options for comfy clothes, why would you pick the one thing that makes you look like you’re wearing a fleece version of MC Hammer’s heinous parachute pants?

Which brings me to my point. No matter how good they are for comfort these little foamy bits are the sweatpants of cycling. Sure, hide them under your bar tape, or use gel tape, get thicker gloves, do something, but please, do not let the world see your bike dressed in a set of these: